A Dragon’s Life: Ch23

-Rebel-

I held my head in my hands. Seath just had a convulsion. Her heartbeats got irregular, and her wings and arms and legs shook. Doctors were called in a hurry, and now I was outside her room, waiting for some news from the doctor.

The door opened, and a group of doctors came out. One of them stopped in front of me.

‘Sir, and Mr. and Mrs. Del.’ He addressed us. ‘I got some good news and some bad news.’

Day and Poiy stood up. ‘Is she better? What caused her convulsion? Is it all over?’ They asked, pouring the doctor with questions. But the doctor kept his calm.

‘We don’t know if it’s over, but we do know the cause. As for her beings, you’ll have to listen to the whole story.’ He said.

‘So tell us then! Tell me!’ Poiy said, grabbing the doctor’s shirt. ‘How is she?!’

‘She suffers from brain damage. I’m sorry, ma’am. It’s something we did not expect or check. And because of her brain damage, her chance of getting up has gone slim to none.’

Poiy looked stunned, then fell to her knees, and tugged on the doctor’s shirt, crying. ‘Please, please help her! Please save her!’ She pleaded, crying. Day looked stunned. He looked distant, seeing nothing.

The world spun around me. So seath might not wake up again. She might have a convulsion again. She probably will be trapped in herself, not being able to do anything.

Because of me.

I stood up, and walked over to Poiy and carefully pulled her back. She cried, and hugged me. Day came and joined as well.

‘I’m sorry.’ I said, to both of them. I’m sorry for everything. I’m sorry.’

 Poiy hugged me harder while Day still looked distant. I silently departed from Day and Poiy and looked at the sky.

The sky looked so clear.

I sighed. But the sigh didn’t help me. There was a giant rock in the base of my heart, and it had no intention of moving.

‘I’ll let you have some personal time.’ I said to Day, and he nodded blindly. While I acted like I was going to let them have some personal time, I was planning to stop the war, but Day and Poiy couldn’t know about it. Not after Seath’s news. I took the elevator, went into the underground parking lot, and started the jeep I got from an army base.

I lit up a cigarette, hoping that it’ll relieve me of some stress.

It didn’t. I sighed and threw away the stud of the cigarette.

‘Might as well stop smoking.’ I thought. ‘It was bad for my health anyways. Guess I’ll have to find another way out.’ And with that, I drove the jeep out of the parking lot, after dumping the left pack of cigarettes in the trash.

Once I was out, I went to a nearby store to get some beer. ‘Maybe this would help.’ I thought. ‘This is natural food, so it’ll probably be better than cigarette anyways.’

I bought a whole pack of them, got out of the store, and climbed into the jeep. I opened a can, and started to drink.

Seath.

She meant a lot to me. Just the name itself had a huge meaning to me. Friend…lover… it brought back memories. Memories of her laughing, memories of her running to catch me, memories of her scowling at me…

Memories of her.

A tear rolled down my face. I wiped if off. More started to flow. I tried to wipe them down. I couldn’t. There were too much.

-And I may not be able to see her awake again.

I drank. I tried to forget everything. I tried to drown my sorrows.

-And I was the reason for Seath’s suicide attempt.

I popped opened the second can. I drank without stopping and drank it all in one shot. The world started to get a bit blurry. But I could still think straight. I didn’t like it.

-I was the reason.

I popped one more open. I had to escape. I started drinking before I broke down crying on the steering wheel.

‘I’m sorry, Seath… I’m sorry! But why did you do that? You were all I had left! And you try to kill yourself? Why would you do that?’ I shouted, punching the steering wheel. I was in rage. How. How could she even attempt to do such a thing? Why had Seath gone so unreasonable? Why?

Why?

I opened yet another can. I simply couldn’t deal with it. I didn’t want to deal with it. I had no one left, and I didn’t want to accept it.

I drank, and emptied the can.

I opened another. I drank it half way.

I had no one left. No one.

No one.

Why was my life such a pain? Why did I have to go through all this pain? What did I do wrong? Shouldn’t I be rewarded instead? I tried to stop the war. I killed over a hundred of corrupt dragons in an attempt to stop the war. But what did I get instead?

All the dead faces lingering inside my head, and the almost confirmed death of my lover and friend, who was the only dragon I had left.

Why did I deserve this?

I drank the rest of the can, then crushed it in my claws. I threw it in the back of the jeep with the rest of the empty cans.

I sighed. I put the gear into drive and started to drive. The world was spinning a bit.

A driver in my back honked. Who the fuck was he to honk at me? I gave the driver a middle claw and continued to drive.

‘Where had all this misery started from?’ I thought.

‘From Seath.’ Another voice in my mind answered.

‘And why had Seath tried to suicide?’ Asked, then answered it myself. ‘Because of me. Because she believed I was dead. So why did she believe I was dead?’ I asked.

‘Because you were shot.’ The voice answered.

I took another can and gulped half of it down. ‘And why was I shot?’

‘Because the soldiers were ordered to.’

‘And the soldiers are related to..?’

‘The war.

‘And what did I try to do with the war?’

‘To stop it.’

‘And what did I get from the war?’ I asked, then thought ‘Misery, Despair, Loss.’ Clenching my teeth.

‘So why did the war start?’ asked the voice inside my head.

‘Because of the northerners.’ I replied.

‘And why doesn’t it end?’

‘Dunno.’

‘But is it because of the generals?’

‘Probably. After all, they ordered the soldiers to shoot me and they are the ones corrupt.’

‘Then why don’t you end it?’ the voice suggested.

‘I tried. I killed more than a hundred dragons to achieve that. It doesn’t work.’ I replied, angrily.

‘No, no. All you’ve done is to end the lives of the lower generals. Why not end the guy on the very top? The whole organization will fall down then.’

I froze. It was actually a good idea, though it was probably a suicide attempt to do so. I wouldn’t have to end every single dragons who are corrupt. If the head was down, then they would all fall down by themselves.

The car in front of me braked. Me, being drunk and distracted, braked at the last second possible. The car behind me honked in alarm. But I didn’t care. I just got a way to end the war.

I smiled, even though I knew it would not be easy. If I pull this off, we’d all be free of the war.

I drank another gulp from the can, and turned the jeep, headed to my old, broken down home.

I was going to need a plan, and I was going to do it alone.

05.31.17 (Wed)

8:02

Omw 2 skool.

I know i know. Same old same old every day.

8:03

I might be late 4 skool again…

8:18

Thanx to my brother, i wuz not late.

10:41

Art class ended. Next up, english.

11:46

Finally! My ad got approved yes!

12:52

Lunch wuz good.

4:48

Just put on an ad that i buy headphones cuz mine is broken….

5:37

Almost time 4 dinner.

7:19

Ok. So ADL Ch23 iz done.

Now i have to study…

7:33

My phone’s on 46% battery… Prob need more battery…

8:51

Skool finished.

9:05

Near home.

A Dragon’s Life: Ch22

-Rebel-

Blood dropped from my hidden blades. This was the 5th general/commander I killed today. And many more were dead by my hands, like the soldiers of the generals.

But I didn’t care.

I wanted the war to stop. And if it had to go by this way, so be it. I have gave them more than enough chance. And I was going to end this. Either I get ended, or the government gets ended. It’ going to be either them or me.

I walked over the corpses and went into the garage. I grabbed a jerry can full of gasoline from a jeep and poured it over the dead dragons. Then I lit up a cigarette, and drew a deep breath from it.

I started smoking. Like I said, I stopped to care anymore. I didn’t care. I didn’t want to care. And smoking helped me relieve the stress. Even though I said I don’t care anymore, I still saw the dead’s faces. And smoking helped me get rid of them. It also helped me get tipsy. I simply couldn’t do mass murders with me wide-awake. But when I was tipsy, it helped me to do so as I wouldn’t think as straight.

I drew another deep breath. The cigarette was a strong one. It had lots of nicotine and tar and smoke. But that’s why I chose this one.

‘It’s funny.’ I thought. ‘Who knew I’d be smoking at the age of 22? I hated smokes when I was young. I like them. I know this is not healthy. I know this hurts me from the inside. But how could I stop the war if I couldn’t shake off the guilts? This helps. This helps mentally.’ I thought to myself, justifying myself.

I drew yet another deep breath, and threw the left stud of the cigar into the gasoline. The gasoline instantly lit on fire, burning the corpses. I felt better thanks to the cigarette, as I could shake off some of the guilt. I have nearly killed 70 dragons today, and no matter how corrupt and bad they were, it still stung me with guilt.

I walked away from the corpses and the fire. I was going to have to kill more for the war to end. ‘It’s a wonder how much dragons could be corrupt and bad.’ I thought. No matter how much I kill, there’s still more. ‘But don’t worry, Rebel.’ I said to myself. ‘It’ll end one way or the other.’

I took one of the jeeps and started towards another army base. The one I’m in will be surrounded in fire in a few hours, like the other 4 army bases I destroyed today.

I drove. I drove and drove. While I was driving, more protesters died in my mind, and that made me speed.

I took another cigarette, and lit it. I drew another breath. I didn’t smell innocent on me anymore. I smelled like smokes and blood and death. I had changed.

And I didn’t like it.

But what had to be done had to be done. It was either me or the government. And j would finish what I had started. And I would win.

Even if it took all of me to do so.

I would not let the government win. I would not let the war take over us. I would not let the corrupt rule over us.

I drew a final breath from the said cigarette and threw it away. I knew it was bad, and Seath would frown upon it, but I had to live, and I couldn’t live with all the burden the killings of soldiers and deaths the protesters made.

I sighed. I was nearing another army base. And this one had a corrupt commander as well. How many will I have to eliminate to stop the war? How many will I have to kill? And how long will I have to continue this?

I saw the garage entrance and started to speed up.

‘Halt!’ One of the guards shouted at me.

I ignored him, and sped faster towards the garage. The guard went round eyed as he saw me not slowing down and instead speeding up. He jumped to the left to evade the jeep as I rammed it into the inspection booth.

‘Bam!’ It sounded as I crashed into the inspection booth. Pain erupted from my chest, but I knew nothing had broken as I had my bag in front of me for cushioning purposes. I was dazed, but quickly recovered and jumped out of the broken jeep and started to shoot down the guards. The guards were dazed, but quickly recovered as well and quickly surrounded me.

‘Put down your weapon!’ One of the guards yelled.

‘Time to act.’ I thought, and put down my sub-machine gun on the ground. The guards surrounded me with their rifles raised, and soon one od them started to come forwards to cuff me. That was my cue.

I rushed forwards and knifed the guy in the neck, then rushed and got two more with each knives on my whist. The guards got alarmed, but couldn’t shoot me as they could accidentally shoot each other. That was why I acted and why I waited.

One by one, the guards fell down, with knife wounds on their necks, chests, and stomachs. Once they were all down, I walked to the garague, and walked down the corridor connected to it. Like an idiot, the army guys designed all the army bases in a similar fashion, and that made it easy for me to infiltrate every army base.

Knowing where to go, I turned a corner and went through the shelves. I saw another group of guards rotating, and struck them from behind.

One guard fell down as my knife entered through the back of his neck and came back out, and another did the same on the left side. I grabbed their necks to stop them falling to the ground and alerting the others, and dragged them to the nearby shelves. The group didn’t notice the two dragons missing from the group.

‘Such dumb bastards.’ I thought. ‘I can’t believe we are getting scammed and killed by these bastards.’

I struck them from behind again, in the same fashion. My knives disconnected their nerves, and made them choke in their own blood, stopping them from yelling out to alert the others.

I repeated this once more before they noticed.

‘Hey. Where are the others?’ one of them, apparently the group leader said. ‘There’s supposed to be 12. Where’s the half of us?’

‘Gone.’ I said, coming out of the shadows. ‘And you’ll be following them.’ I said, smiling wickedly, while frowning on the inside.

‘Who are you? And what do you mean by gone? Did you kill them?’ He said, slightly bewildered.

‘Ding Ding Ding! If doesn’t take a genius to find that out, does it?’ I said, sarcastically. ‘And as I said, you’ll be following them. So heads up!’ I said, and rushed forwards and got my knife between his neck. He died, wide eyed, chocking on his own blood. The other guards tried to resist, but followed the group leader soon after.

Now that the group was out of the way, there was only one corner and the last door left to go.

I met no one else and kicked opened the door. There was no one. But I knew the commander was hiding somewhere. The last 3 had been like that.

I walked around the desk, and looked under it. The commander looked at me with frightened eyes.

‘Please don’t kill me!’ He pleaded. ‘I’ll give you anything you want-anything! Please don’t kill me!’

This guy was a coward as well, and did not deserve his place. I did not speak, and just knifed him in the neck. He died, chocking on his own blood as well.

‘Sadly for you, I don’t want anything from you. I just want you dead, and the war stopped.’ I said to the now dead 6th general.

05.30.17 (Tue)

7:59

Omw 2 skool.

11:50

Got a call from the company i posted the ad on. Gotta call them back.

3:30

Changed a few things on the ad.

Hopefully this gets approved…

4:34

Main schedule finished.

Hopefully the rest goes by as well.

5:40

Dinner!

5:56

The ad got denied.

Gotta fix it a bit.

8:03

Finally posted ADL ch22.

Whew.

A Dragon’s Life: Ch21

-Rebel-

I was looking at Seath. She didn’t wake up. She looked… so peaceful. It was as if she was dead. One would consider her dead if not for the rise and fall of her chest, and the constant beep from the computer.

I sighed. I put another flower in the vase next to her bed. Every time I came here, I put a flower in that vase. Now it was full, and more than half of them were dead. And she hadn’t still waken up.

It hurt my heart. I felt guilty. If only I had woken up earlier… if only I had found her earlier…

‘No. Stop it. There’s nothing that’s going to change by blaming yourself.’ I told myself.

I looked at the TV. It was as always talking about the war. But it was also talking about the protest. And us. Seath and I. The protest has got over the level where it’ll be called huge. My death and Seath’s suicide attempt had been a huge impact over the society. More and more dragons joined over the protest everyday. All trying to stop the war.

I sighed again. The situation was not good. The protesters had no leader, so the protest was a mess. And now the army was involved, as well. They shot the protesting dragons under the name of control. Everyday, I saw dragons dying, and none of those scenes were broadcasted on the radio or the TV. The government was saying that it was a riot. But they weren’t fooling anyone. Everyone knew the innocent protesters were dying. And that made more dragons join the protest everyday. And they were dying.

They were dying.

All because they wanted the war to stop. All because they protested. All because they were tired of the war.

It all filled me with rage, and more than anything, sadness. We were helpless against the guns. And we couldn’t use force as it would give the government a real reason to call the protest a riot. We were trapped. And even though I assassinated the generals and commanders who ordered the assault, it seemed like there was an endless supply of bad generals or commanders who would order yet another assault. All my hard work seemed useless against the government, and I was losing reasons to continue.

I was about to give up. It was tempting. No more loss of lives, no more headaches, no more blames on myself.

The war would end itself, or would end us. It would end one way or another.

But there were always a few things thay held me back.

Seath. The protesters who believed in me. And my second thoughts.

What would Seath think of me once she awoke and found out that I gave up?

What would the protesters think if I gave up? What about the arrested or the dead?

What would it all have been for if we stop now? What would all the dead lives mean? All the sacrifices… All the attempts… Am I really ready to dump it all away? Am I ready to take full responsibility of the loss? Am I ready to live with it?

Am I?

I slumped down on a chair. Part of me wanted to just let go. Let go of everything. Actually, more than a part of me. Most of me.

But all these thoughts held me back.

But maybe this was the time to stop. Maybe this was the time to give up. Maybe this was the time to let go.

I hated all the deaths. The hospital was always filled with the dying, or the dead. Every time there was a protest, there were gunshots, and there were dragons carried on stretchers, bleeding. And most of them died. And their families cried. Then they went to the protest themselves. Then they died.

The cycle never ended.

It was bad. And it had all started because of me.

‘No. No no no no no.’ I said to myself. I was starting to think in a bad way again. I was blaming myself again. I had to stop.

‘I’m sorry, Seath.’ I said. ‘I’m sorry. For everything. But what would you do if you’re in my shoes? No no. What could you do? I’m tired, Seath. I’m tired of everything. Tired of all the responsibilities, tired of all the deaths. Tired of not being able to make a change. I’m tired. I know I sound like an idiot. And I’m sorry, Seath. But what can I do?’

She didn’t respond.

I sighed and got up. I said my departures to Seath’s parents, and went out with mh hood on again. Seath’s parents were the obly ones besides the members of Oklad who knew I was alive. Well, them and Seath of Seath was listening to me. On my way out, I saw more dragons either bleeding or already dead on stretchers. I clenched my teeth. I felt guilty, as well as angry.

I decided something.

I was going to go on a rampage, and kill all the corrupt dragons, no matter who they were or where they were. The northern generals, or the generals on my side, or the commanders. Whichever side they were. It didn’t matter.

This had to stop.

And what did I have to lose anyways? I didn’t have any family, and I didn’t know if Seath was ever going to wake up. For all I knew, she could be in coma forever.

From now on, I was going to kill everyone involved in the corrupted war.

I didn’t care.

I didn’t want to care. All the thinking only made my head ache. I stopped caring. Or, I wanted to stop caring, and wanted all this to end.

So I was going to end it, and by my hands.

If the protest didn’t mean anything, so be it. They had their chance. And now it was my turn to answer.

05.29.17 (Mon)

8:05

Im late for school.

But who cares.

8:08

Forgot my keys.

Apparently i’ll be even more late for school.

Fuck.

9:23

Normal day at school.

Lolololol.

12:36

Just uploaded a translation ad.

Hope someone buys it.

4:37

My ad got denied, so uploaded a new fixed one.

Hopefully someone buys it.

5:41

Dinner.

6:49

I feel dizzy.

7:35

I feel extremely dizzy.

7:41

Im going home.

I gotta talk to my dad about this…

7:53

Im almost home.

Really gotta talk about this.

11:20

Math class done.

Going home.

05.26.17 (Fri)

8:28

Today is a school field trip day.

Going to the beach.

8:48

Still going…

9:08

Almost there.

Found a few rare cars.

Just…wow…

9:34

At the place.

Hope this ends soon.

9:46

Day’s clear af.

11:37

Done.

11:45

Now on a bus to go home.

6:58

Gonna smoke 1 cigar, and get a smoothie or prefae.

7:25

Smoked, and got myself a drink.